Mid-Year Sexual Wellbeing 'Audit': How Have You Been, Really?

Tax audits. Performance reviews. Mid-year check-ins.

During this season, many people reflect on various aspects of life, such as work, finances, productivity, routines, and responsibilities. However, one important area that is often overlooked is sexual wellbeing.

When was the last time you took a moment to consider your relationship with intimacy, connection, desire, touch, or pleasure? Not to judge performance or frequency or to ‘fix’ anything, but with a sense of awareness and curiosity. Since the start of the year, numerous changes may have taken place—such as work pressures, caregiving duties, parenting, emotional fatigue, relationship challenges, burnout, health issues, or major life changes—all of which might affect how connected or disconnected you feel from your sexuality.

Many people often believe that sexuality and desire are solely influenced by physical factors. They tend to overlook that emotional safety, stress, body image, relationship dynamics, personal beliefs, energy levels, life transitions, and self-connection also play significant roles. When we limit our understanding of sexual wellbeing to only physical aspects, it can lead to questions like: 'Should I have more sex?' or 'Should I try something new?”

While new experiences may spark curiosity or connection, sometimes a more meaningful question is simply to pause and ask: “How have I been, really?”

One reflective framework I sometimes use in my work is the MEBES® model, developed by Dr Patti Britton and taught at Sex Coach U (SCU). It examines sexuality through five interconnected areas:

• Mind — beliefs, fantasies, self-talk, and thoughts 

• Emotions — emotional safety, vulnerability, shame, and connection 

• Body — body image, touch, sensuality, and physical wellbeing 

• Energy — vitality, stress, and presence 

• Spirit — meaning, values, purpose, and deeper connection

What I value about this framework is that it can function as a reflective tool, helping us notice whether we feel nourished, disconnected, resourced, overwhelmed, curious, or shut down. For some people, this reflection may highlight tiredness or stress that affect desire. For others, it may draw attention to emotional disconnection, self-criticism, unresolved hurt, or a wish for greater presence and intimacy.

Sometimes the most meaningful part of the reflection is simply creating space for awareness.

I have created a downloadable Sexual Wellbeing Reflection Worksheet based on the MEBES® model. This worksheet provides a gentle self-reflection exercise for individuals who wish to explore these themes at their own pace. You can also listen to me and my fellow sex coach colleague discussing MEBES on the sexandbreakfast podcast.

If, through this reflection, you notice areas where you would like additional support, you are welcome to contact me to learn more about my therapeutic and coaching approach.

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This article is for educational purposes only and does not replace personalised therapy, medical care, or individual healthcare advice.